Quote of the Week

Fear ..keeps thousands of pictures from passing through the lens. - John Duniak

Quote of the Week

The greatest thing a human soul ever does in this world is to SEE something, and tell what it SAW in a plain way... To see clearly is poetry, prophecy, and religion, all in one. - John Ruskin

The Poison of Comparisons

Being out of the country provided ample opportunity to not only get away from the routines of work, but also the routines of thinking. When not facing the unrelenting press of deadlines and to-do lists, I had a chance to assess not just where I am today in my life, but also how I think about it.

The most important observation was how comparison to others had and continues to permeate my thoughts. Concerns about where I am have been invariably connected to thoughts of where I should be, especially when comparing my career and work with those of others. And as is the case with that mode of thinking, the focus was on those areas where I felt I had fallen short or where I compared unfavorably to others.

They of course fall on concerns over financial success, but also there were issues revolving around creativity and productivity. Despite my hectic and busy schedule, I wasn’t enjoying the return that I felt I desired or deserved. When that feeling of frustration begins to creep in, it seems inevitable to turn my gaze towards those I feel are achieving what I would like for myself.

There lies the trap. Such comparisons often lead to thoughts that reinforce insecurity, fear and doubts. That negative tape that can often be running on a perpetual loop becomes louder and overwhelms the more positive and creative aspects of my character.

Instead of looking at what actions they are taking that I am not and making changes and adjustments to my own game plan, negative thinking leads to thoughts tying my frustrations not with flaws of planning or organizations, but more a result of personal failings.

It’s built around the words “not _________________ enough”. The thought is completed by inserting any word not the least of which include: talented, young, experienced, old, aggressive, organized, tall, rich, thin, handsome, charming, skilled. Whatever that source of lacking is, it becomes all the more magnified when its presence or my assumption of its presence appears to be found in someone else who appears to have what I want.

But perception often has very little to do with the truth.

The truth of today’s reality is not rooted in some personal flaw or failing, but is instead the result of the choices I made yesterday, the week before and the months before that.

I had an opportunity to turn left and instead turned right. I said no, when I had a chance to say yes. I continued to do something when I could have instead stopped and decided to try something new. I had choices. I made them and where I am today is a direct result of those choices.

So, the difference between me and the other guys is that we made different choices. It’s not rooted in those negative comparisons, which can leave me depressed and exhausted, but rather on a decision, built upon another, built on another.

The success that I’m enjoying today as a photographer, writer or as a podcaster are a result of my making good choices repeatedly. When I made bad ones, I learned from them and made a different one the next time around. Born of my desire to grow and succeed, I allowed each choice to inform the next one and stopped doing those things that didn’t work.

So, the true reality of my frustration, my angst is rooted in my insistence on continuing to make a choice that obviously isn’t working. If making repeatedly good choices leads to progress, then it only makes sense that the lack of progress is rooted in the repetition of bad choices. When I look at my life and my professional career in that way, the remedy to what ails me becomes clearer.

What are the choices that I can make today that will shape my choices for tomorrow? What choices can I make today that can lead to a different opportunity than I had today or the day before?

If I make the same choices as yesterday, my tomorrow won’t be any more different. So, what can I do today to create a different tomorrow? It doesn’t have to be revolutionary change, but just something that creates a chance to take a different path tomorrow than I did today.

I am a creature of habit, but they are a mix of both good and bad or more aptly effective and ineffective. The next choice, may not be as effective as the previous one, but at least I won’t be repeating myself and that in itself holds the promise of discovering something that does work, that does succeed, that gets me closer to the life and career that I want.

The image of two athletes comes to mind whose mutual goal is that of completing a marathon. The first athlete runs the entire distance, while the other alternates between running and walking. One may cross the finish line before the other, but the challenge isn’t about who crosses the line first. It’s about just crossing the line. Each does it in their own way, neither approach being better than the other, because in either case the goal is met.

I’m in this race to prove that I can do it, that I can make those wonderful ideas that appear in my head manifest themselves into something real and tangible. When I remember that, comparisons, favorable or otherwise fall away.

Instead I focus on putting one foot in front of the other and pressing on, knowing it will all be worth it when I have finally crossed that line.

Transformations

When I started this blog, which seems to have been ages ago, it was more as an exercise. I was working my 9-5 and though it involved the photo industry, I wasn't doing as much shooting as I would have liked. When I was, I was often repeating the same images over and over again and felt less than challenged. I looked at the work that I was producing sporadically and feeling that I'd hit a wall.

So, I gave myself a self-assignment to shoot a picture every day for a year to force myself to not only carry my camera every day, but to see the world in a very different way.

It forced me to look at the world and make images of things that I never would have considered photographing before. Instead of just making images of the usual suspects, I was forced to reconsider what was photo worthy. I began to be led by light and shadow to a greater extent than I ever had before. Not all the images were great, but there was a thrill each morning at the idea that I was going to go out that day and even if it was just for a few minutes, I was going to make a new image. It didn't really matter if turned out to be great photography. What mattered that I was going out into the world and I was going to pay attention to it.

The blog has persisted well beyond that self-assignment and I fear it's suffered a bit from the same miasma that led me to create it in the first place. So, the question is what do I do with it? How do I challenge myself and the work that I put on this site to serve that insatiable desire to create and communicate?

I don't have an answer to that yet, but I thought that sitting down and writing my thoughts here would be a good first step. This site has to be more than a repository for photographs. I know I want it to be more than that. I think it will likely be rooted in this idea of what makes a photographic life. There is no doubt of that. I think as with everything in my life, it will be a work in progress.

I hope you'll stick around to see where this goes.

Quote of the Week

Having and camera makes you no more a photographer than having a hammer and some nails makes you a carpenter. - Claude Adams

Flora & Fauna #5

I like the repetition of shape and line in this flower. The light coming through the petals makes the image all the better. It's the combination of light and shape that make this shot resonate for me.

Flora and Fauna #4

This work is not easy and gives me a greater appreciation for people who do exceptional work with this oft-photographed subject matter. I am using a 60mm Macro lens and now I know why so many peopled favored the 105mm and 200mm versions. The greater working distance provided by such lenses would definitely be appreciated.

Flora & Fauna #3

One of the biggest complaints of many a photographer, whether professional or amateur is the lack of time to actually make photographs. Though I know a lot of people assume that if you are doing this professionally, you're spending most of your time making images, it's anything but true. Most of the time is spent managing and maintaining business and trying to create the opportunities to actually shoot and get paid for it. So, it's easy, particularly with an economy like this, to forget that there is joy in making images for the sure pleasure of it.

Thankfully, my wife has been doing a marvelous job with the garden and yard providing me with an abundance of subject matter to photograph. Though this isn't my typical kind of work, it really doesn't matter. What does is that I'm out there making images. There's little excuse when subject matter is literally at my door stop.

Flora and Fauna #2

I don't do a lot of close-up work. But with my wife having purchased a bunch of flowers and working diligently on her garden, I saw an opportunity to do something different. Last night when we were having dinner on the deck, I saw this flower and knew that I would need to shoot it in the morning. It's difficult work, because of the limited depth of field and it's hard to assess sharpness even on the LCD. Nevertheless, that limited depth of field is one of the things that I like because it allows me to really isolate the important element of the subject.

Quote of the Week

Photography is, to me, more than a means of expression, more than my particular prefession – it is a way of life. And if I were asked to choose one word which holds the key to my work I would select ‘light’ – for light is my language, and it is international, readily understood by any person of any race. - Yousuf Karsh